Isn’t sexting just harmless fun?

In today’s overly connected world, where technology floods into almost every aspect of our lives, including our dating/relationship lives, people wonder “Is sexting/picture trading cheating?”

This graphic and ones like it have become increasingly popular.  So let’s take a longer look to see if the sentiment is really true.


A relationship goes far beyond physicality. The only thing that separates a committed relationship from a “friends with benefits” scenario is the emotional bond you share with your partner.

This bond is present whether or not they are in the same room with you – and your actions when they’re not around should reflect the emotional commitment you’ve made.

In a recent study showcased on the Huffington Post:

Men and women believe that sexting is as harmful to a relationship as cheating, according to a new study looking at how people define infidelity.

In a YouGov poll of 1,000 U.S. adults commissioned by the Huffington Post, 85per cent of female respondents deemed the non-physical act dishonest, as did 74 percent of men.

Facebooking a former flame and forming a close bond with someone via text or email were also outed as adulterous acts.

As men, we know there is nothing platonic about suggestive sex. We know we are fishing to score.

At the very least, men are looking for a “yes” for an ego payoff. It matters that he doesn’t take up the option in reality, but it’s still an act of emotional infidelity. A sexual suggestion to another in cyberspace or sexting is as disloyal as it is at a party or in your living room. Any one receiving this flirtation would assume the man sexting was available. In the age of social media people will know if you’re available or not, and if you’re trying to meet up with someone else when you’re committed, you’ll probably get called out.  You’re not even blurring the line here, you’re just stepping right over it.  If they already knows he has a partner, they are kidding themselves if they they that they are not guilty of participating in an act that jeopardizes the man’s relationship.

A real stretch of an excuse could be that it’s the same as just looking at pornography because you’re not actually physically touching someone.   Many people feel more betrayed by the emotional intimacy of what drives the sexual flirting than anything else.  Online, whether it’s an old friend, old crush, or some random hottie, if it’s someone you’re literally talking to, building a connection with, and asking to get pictures from, in return for sending your own. you’re crossing the line. Especially if these pictures are R-Rated.

Anonymous pictures, fantasies and thoughts are okay when contained. Cheating is when there is a real third person made to feel, in any form, that they are invited to trespass into a primary partnership.  Studies and mental health professionals recognize that sustained infidelity can for the wronged party can lead to PTSD and may mimic the signs of physical abuse.

So, just to be safe, just ask yourself if you would be okay with your significant other hearing, seeing, or feeling what you are doing with someone else. If you wouldn’t do it in front of them, don’t do it behind their backs.

the point

If you’re going to – save everyone some heartache and just stay single.


About The Mental Meddler

A quirky, opinionated gay guy who offends both liberal and conservatives.

Posted on August 22, 2014, in Dating, Lifestyle and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Isn’t sexting just harmless fun?.

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